Going on this trip we also wanted to find time for ourselves, maybe finding ourselves again. It’s hard with a child that needs your attention all the time, talks a lot (hence the parrot) and I keep wondering how families traveling with more than one kid experience it. Twice the attention needed or less? I have no idea.
The moments we parents can spend on thought, maybe even „work“ on our ideas are very limited. The time as a couple speaking about all our impressions, thoughts, readings is even less.
It is 9:46pm while I am sitting in a hotel room writing this. My husband sits on the bed next to me, working on some pictures, our son is in the bed across from us, still not asleep. We dare not to talk to each other. And all that after a wonderful day, dinner and walk home when Rainer and I actually had a grown up conversation and Anton, tired as he already was, on Rainer’s back just listening and holding my hand. Sounds like bitching? Like I can’t even get enough, should be thankful to get the opportunity to travel in the first place? I don’t mean it that way, am incredibly thankful for the possibilities I have, my family my life.
I am just wondering if there’s something we need to do? Change our expectations, have another baby and do it over when time comes, read less, write less for that matter, leave the hotel room and let Anton fall asleep alone. I don’t know. These things called kids don’t come with a manual. Parenthood and travel neither.
Maybe I’ve got it all wrong. I haven’t read a non-fiction book since, well I guess sometime when I started working and needed some reference books. I haven’t read a good, well written novel (other than the yearly Jane Austen) since University. For the first time since forever I am relaxed enough to actually enjoy reading about parenting, mindfulness, trying meditation. Maybe it’s just that travelling with a child is so much slower and therefore a journey towards myself even more so. But I am moving.
Half the time is already up, it might be that we just experience the time „rush“ now. Many questions I had leaving work, Berlin are not half way answered but it feels that I am learning some tools to work with them and mind them less. Sometimes it’s just a way of looking at things that give you away of dealing with them. Don’t you think?